Acceptance is a word that has been appearing for a time in various sources and psychological trends. We use this word so often that we stop thinking about it, it is very easy to lose the essence of this word. Either we accept it or reject it, refusing to accept everything that happens to us.
I will start this post with what acceptance is NOT. This is very clearly illustrated by the words of Jon Kabatt-Zinn:
“Acceptance does not mean that you have to like everything, take a passive attitude and give up all rules and values. Nor does it mean that you are satisfied with matters as they are and you limit yourself to tolerating them, because it must be so. It does not mean that you stop trying to free yourself from destructive habits or give up the desire for change and development. It also does not mean that you have to tolerate injustice or avoid changing the surrounding world, because it is what it is and there is no hope of change. The acceptance that we are talking about simply means that you must want to see things as they are. “
It is an act of accepting reality as it is, accepting it into consciousness, without seeking the guilty, dropping responsibility or putting yourself in the position of sacrifice. And it is not the same as ceasing to act or accepting harm. The same applies to the emotions that arise in us.
Thanks to observation and acceptance, there is a break between the stimulus and a habitual emotional reaction. We slow down and perceive what is happening in us, and once we name it, it will be easier for us to accept the feeling that arises in us. Because it is already there, let’s not argue with it, let’s take note, only then we can go forward.
Acceptance is also a letting go of denial, tension and struggling with reality. Letting go of thoughts: why me?, I have enough of this, it was not supposed to be so, it was not fair. Certain questions can be asked over and over again, and we will not get any answers to them, instead we lose valuable energy, which could help us take action to get out of the situation or find inner peace in the face of what we have no control over.
Try this exercise!
Find a quiet, peaceful place so that no one disturbs you. Set an alarm (but not too loud if you do not want to be torn out of the relaxation state!) for 10 minutes. Sit or lie down comfortably, spread your legs and arms, relax your body, take off your glasses if you use them. Close your eyes and concentrate on the breath. See and feel where exactly the air flows in your body. Check if you feel discomfort in any part of your body and let the air in. Take a deep breath and relax this place … let it go …
Watch what is happening in you … maybe some thoughts, emotions, sensations may appear … Note and let them be there for a moment and then let go … imagining that every thought, emotion or experience is a butterfly that flies into space. Repeat this image with every emerging thought or emotion. Continue until you feel calm … watch your breath, focus on its rhythm …
Inhale and exhale…
Breathe slowly and watch yourself until you hear an alarm. Slowly return to reality and your surroundings … and at your own pace to the normal rhythm of the day.
Repeat this exercise regularly 🙂