The past and the future are completely different moments in life. Therefore, here and now decide what you support and how you act on. Only then can you make big changes.
How we react to our emotions affects what our life looks like.
What are the most common ways to respond to them:
1. Denial – we put on a mask, we pretend nothing is happening. We are holding a “positive” attitude and we do not allow ourselves to feel what is inside us, and therefore … we suffer even more …
2. Avoidance – we avoid situations that could lead to these emotions, eg. entering/starting/engaging in relationships, changing work, taking up challenges.
3. Becoming a victim – we identify with emotions and even strengthen them. This method is very dangerous, it brings an apparent effect in the form of the attention of others. However, it does not bring a solution, and what we identify with is not our real self. In addition, we perpetuate the belief that they are beyond our control, blame others, circumstances, we do not take responsibility. We simply give our only true freedom, freedom of reaction choice.
Personally, I do not like the name negative emotions. The word difficult is for me a more appropriate form, it is a challenge for us. But for me, emotions are emotions, we all need them. Life is not a fairy tale (although these are sometimes brutal …), there are ups and downs and the same is with emotions. If we exclude those that are difficult for us, we will become one-dimensional … we will get used to the state of eternal joy, enthusiasm, euphoria and … this state will simply lose its importance, it will become commonplace.
When I worked with people in bereavement, I heard many times that they would not change this state, refused to accept antidepressants offered to them by doctors. It will only drown out the pain, the pain of which is to them a deep sorrow and longing for a deceased person. They want to consciously go through this process, it is an important stage for them.
The decision on how to deal with these emotions will be entirely yours, no one will be able to pick you up. Fortunately, your choice is not limited to these three options. There is one more that will enrich and develop your personality. Thanks to that it will allow you, to go to a higher level of consciousness.
Emotions, which I describe here as difficult, also play their role, they bring with them information about what is happening in our lives, perhaps something needs changing, they provoke to focus on our inner world, notice what is happening, sometimes they mobilise. Every emotion is different, specific …
Show respect for yourself, your emotions and internal processes. Stop and look at them. Let the space between yourself and emotion. Take a deep breath, it will bring you here and now, it will slow you down. If you feel the need to breathe for a while, focus on the breath. When you feel that everything slows down and your muscles relax, answer a few questions. What’s going on inside you? What do you feel? Name the emotion that appears in you.
In subsequent posts I will introduce you to the next steps. Do not stop observing yourself, calmly, and without judgment.
I will keep my fingers crossed for you! 🙂